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Are Relationships Supposed To Be Hard?



Theodore Roosevelt argued that “nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty,” but should this belief hold true in our relationships? It has become a common belief that the best relationships are the ones we have to work for and in turn, any relationship worth having is worth fighting for. This may be accurate in some situations, but no two relationships are alike.


Relationships Through the Stages


Every relationship is unique, but the majority of relationships go through similar stages as they progress. The beginning of a relationship is new and exciting. During this stage, when there is romance, couples may want to spend every moment together and can’t seem to get enough of each other. Many people refer to this as the “honeymoon phase.” Couples are accommodating of one another, but over time, the freshness of the relationship comes to an end, and the couples transition into a more comfortable routine. At this point, partners may begin taking each other for granted and the focus is shifted to individual interests. This can cause distance or a disconnect between the partners and ultimately the relationship becomes challenging or feels hard.


Overcoming the Hump

If your relationship has become challenging, you may be asking yourself what now. This stage is often the hump before establishing complete trust, stability, and commitment. Communication is instrumental when working to improve relationships. As busy as our lives may get, we must make time to talk. It is best to first assess the relationship and what is making it difficult. After identifying the problem(s), start talking and working on some solutions together. Try to listen more than you speak and avoid making assumptions. This will require patience and open-mindedness from both partners. It is important to remember that your partner is not your enemy and they are likely experiencing many of the same feelings you are.


Relationships are ever-changing and evolving, just like we are. Sometimes, the evolution of a relationship begins to introduce new challenges. Relationships will always require some aspect of work, but if you have reached a point where the relationship has become impossible to rebuild on your own, therapy is a great solution. Our therapists at Cultured Space can help to provide an inclusive and safe environment for you and your partner as you embark on your journey to establishing a strong, long-lasting relationship.


Whenever you are ready, we are here for you!